We already know what Christmas looks in the homes of Mariah, George and Chris. On the other hand, it is not self-evident that during Christmas you’re listening to tunes of love, good food and happy families. This Top 5 shows that!

5. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus – The Jackson 5

In this extremely cute song by Michael Jackson and his brothers, we can read that Santa himself can get quite naughty at times!

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night

She didn’t see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep
She thought that I was tucked up
In my bedroom, fast asleep
Then I saw Mommy tickle (tickle, tickle, Santa Claus) Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
Oh, what a laugh it would have been

If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus – The Jackson 5

Oeh la la, Santa!

4. I Farted On Santa’s Lap (Now Christmas Is Gonna Stink For Me) – Little Stinkers

Years ago, my sister burned this song on a cd and since then it comes out every year during our Christmas dinner. And yes… it still makes us laugh every year!

The moral of the story; it is never a good idea to eat beans before you can hop on Santa’s lap! This is what happens when you do…

Waiting there for Santa
Thought that I’d explode

Gas bubble it blew bigger
With every “Ho, Ho, Ho”

Tried my best to hide it
Thought I was doing swell
But when I sat down on Santa’s lap
He hollared, “Whats that smell?”

I farted on Santa’s lap
Now Christmas is gonna stink for me

I farted on Santa’s lap
Now I’ll get a (fart sound)
Under my Christmas Tree
I Farted On Santa’s Lap (Now Christmas Is Gonna Stink For Me) – Little Stinkers

Listen to the full song to hear how this story ends. It is not as tragic as you might think (an unexpected gift from Santa himself – it’s not the wrapping paper he lets rip).

3. Ho Ho Ho – Sia

Last year, Sia released an album with 10 brand new Christmas songs. The third place in this list is Ho Ho Ho; an anthem for the misfits. A warm blanket for everyone without a happy family, loving partner or hospitable friends. 

Ho ho ho, it don’t get better than this
Ho ho ho, in the land of misfits
Ho ho ho, we’re all losin’ our legs
We got nothing but this, ho ho ho

Sia’s solution?

Ho ho ho, bring a bottle of rum
Ho ho ho, cream and whiskey bourbon
Ho ho ho, bring a bottle of booze
We got nothing to lose, ho ho ho
Ho Ho Ho – Sia

Go go go for it! 💪💪💪

2. Yule Shoot Your Eye Out – Fall Out Boy

This Christmas song may not be well known, but it certainly fits this playlist very well! This is because this track can be seen as the opposite of Mariah Carey’s classic All I Want For Christmas Is You! Although this acoustic guitar song sounds very sweet, the lyrics are anything but:

Don’t come home for Christmas
You’re the last thing I wanna see
Underneath the tree
Merry Christmas, I could care less  

Happy New Year’s baby
You owe me the best gift I will ever ask for
Don’t call me up, when the snow comes down
It’s the only thing I want this year
Yule Shoot Your Eye Out – Fall Out Boy 

What version do you prefer; this one by Fall Out Boy or Mariahs classic? Let us know in a comment.

1. Dick In A Box – The Lonely Island ft. Justin Timberlake

The number one in this list is pretty, uh.. different. Together with Justin Timberlake, comedy trio The Lonely Island, recorded Dick In A Box. Not only did the video go completely viral, everyone thought it was a fantastic song, they even won an Emmy Award for Outstanding Music & Lyrics for Dick In A Box.

The title of the song somewhat reveals what this song is about, but you definitely don’t want to miss the lyrics…

Girl you know we’ve been together such a long long time
And now I’m ready to lay it on the line
Wow, you know it’s Christmas and my heart is open wide
Gonna give you something so you know what’s on my mind

A gift real special, so take off the top
Take a look inside it’s my dick in a box
Dick In A Box – The Lonely Island ft. Justin Timberlake

Let the Christmas craziness begin!

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– I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus is written by Thomas Patrick Connor © Regent Music Corporation
– I Farted On Santa’s Lap is written by Anthony Beltrami, Gina Beltrami, 1999.
– Ho Ho Ho is written bySia Kate Furler / Greg Kurstin © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, 2017.
– Yule Shoot Your Eye Out is written by Andrew Hurley / Andrew John Hurley / Joseph Trohman / Joseph Mark Trohman / Patrick Stump / Patrick Martin Stump / Peter Wentz / Peter Lewis Wentz © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC.
– Dick In A Box is written by Katreese Barnes, Justin Timberlake, Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone & Andy Samberg.

📸: Markus Spiske